Top Ten Lists… Even More Reprises

Top Ten Ways To Be Gangster At Work

10.  Go "George Castanza" and get a sleeping bag under your desk.

9.  Call everybody "Champ" as in "I’ll be at the meeting soon, Champ."

8.  Take off for all religious holidays and say you are experimenting.

7.  Sing the latest Juvenile track "I need it in my life" all the time.

6.  Put naked pictures of your significant other on display in your office.

5.  Roll a jay at your next meeting and say "Don’t worry, I’m not going to blow it until I get outside. (You can hit it if you’re around.)"

4.  When you see strangers in the office, ask them what set they claim.

3.  Follow your boss home from work and say "Now you know that I know exactly where you live…  Let’s not have any problems."

2.  Have your homies drop by your desk wearing colors and bandanas everyday at noon.

1.  Remind everyone that you’re strapped every time they tell you that they have a problem with something at work, as in: Coworker, "My computer won’t let me into outlook automatically."   You say "You know I’m strapped right now, right?"

 

Top Ten Sayings of a "Hip-Hop" Doctor (MD)

With more and more people being touched by the hip-hop culture, it is only a matter of time before society becomes inundated with MD’s that grew up using the slang.  The following is my interpretation of what to expect in the ensuing years.

10.  Yo homey,  we raised stakes. That procedure ain’t covered by your HMO, dog.

9.  For rizzle, my nizzle, you gots the "hivs" [pronounced:  heeves], on the serious tip.

8.  Pancreatic cancer:  The prognosis says you should’ve died yesterday, Superman.

7.  Stomach Virus:  Take these two pills and try to hold it down.

6.  Lung cancer:  Stop burning so hard donney, you got the big "C" for sheezy.

5.  Clap:  You might want to invest in some hats for your little helper to stop dripping.

4.  (No insurance?)  Aww, man…. I can’t do it:  I’m tight on that right now.

3.  Pregnancy:  You got a bun in the oven, so I hope you know who the baker is….

2.  Too busy to talk:  Holler at me after I get out of surgery, champ!

1.  Hernia: Turn your head to right and cough, like you’re off the good dank.

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