Egregious Enterprises LLC

 

Egregious Enterprises TM , LLC  was founded in Fall of 2003 in Washington DC by the ever evolving Why Must It Be A Secret? TM  Crew.

Egregious Enterprises TM , LLC is a subsidiary of, but not necessarily totally beholden to, Vandalay Industries. Essentially we take the government, logistics, construction and import and export businesses to the next level by expediting all business efforts through our excellent energy. Egregious Enterprises TM , LLC are the Work Economists TM.

After years of schooling and the subsequent baptism by immersion into the Washington DC government workforce individual professionals from varying disciplines banded together to economize their efforts to provide goods and services.  Serious lunchtime meetings were organized at Daddy Graces’s, now known as Saint’s Paradise Cafe on M street between 6th and 7th, and attended by the movers and shakers of the District of Columbia government. 

The gatherings often lasted well past two o’clock in the afternoon and often arrangements needed to be made in order to ensure that these important government employees would be rested well enough before and after while also maintaining the appearance of actual productivity.  The menu at Saint’s Paradise greatly influenced our ability to achieve our goals.  Beef and pork ribs, catfish, whiting, smothered pork chops, and fried chicken could all be had with a wide array of side orders including, but not limited to, collard greens, macaroni and cheese, candied yams, corn and rice. 

Egregious Enterprises TM , LLC is 100% minority (Black) owned and operated and not to be racist or anything but we were all pretty tired after eating that much delicious food at Daddy Grace’s church, Saint’s Paradise Cafe.  Special steps would have to be taken in order to maximize our time in a soulful environment while also being mentally alert enough to accomplish the bare minimum to continue to receive an all-important paycheck.   We would eventually decide that more research was needed to be done in order to combat the disease known as Negro-itis (also known as The ‘Itis) in which homo sapiens become very sleepy after consuming mass quantities of tasty soul food. 

The true test to the newly formed company would come rather early in development stage.  How could we expand our ability to provide the appearance of quality assurance at our respective positions most effectively while maintaining the urban lifestyle?  Could the company model be applied in other cities and in other industries?  Would the company blueprint withstand the changes of an ultra-competitive economy?  (Would we get raises, or just be able to keep or jobs, or would we get fired or what?)  Why did the horrible effects of Negro-itis increase in the Spring and Summer months?  The list of unknowns in this early period could go on ad infinitum.

The nature of the dilemma that we were faced with was quite paradoxical, as the answer to our root problem was also the cause.  We realized in a "Eureka!" moment that by eliminating the morning work sessions wherever possible we would be well rested and energized for our meetings.  (The line at Daddy Graces is long and the menu varies according to each day and some empirical scientific evidence suggested that by arriving at 1100 we could avoid the normal feeding time of Negroes while increasing our time together and the possibility that ribs would be in high supply on Wednesdays.)  We would also economize our efforts after the meetings had concluded and incorporate a "no watermelon before 4 PM policy" that appeased the cake and pie enthusiasts. 

Egregious Enterprises TM , LLC is 100% minority (Black) owned and operated and has since expanded to Los Angeles, New York, Houston, Dallas, and Miami.  Every major city with a significant minority population involved in providing goods and services to taxpayers accompanied by a propensity for fresh nightlife and beautiful people was considered for expansion purposes.

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One Response to “Egregious Enterprises LLC”

  1. DICooper Says:

    Reblogged this on The Chronicles of Six and commented:

    One more time for the conglomerate. Still relevant today even with the poor edit.

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