Too Cold for Shorts

The following short posts are meant to be read aloud in your best Ghostface Killah voice: a real heavy Staten Island, ghetto, authoritative, prison-trained accent that requires lingual dexterity.  You need to stay on your dean to get all that you can out what is on the screen right now.  It’s almost 5%, but not really, so I suspect you’ll do okay if you can talk like you got some sense and understand how the words should be stressed.

The Foreign Exchange

I forgot to tell you people that I went to the Foreign Exchange show at The Black Cat not too long ago. (I want to say it was March 6.) Normally I’m not that all that thrilled about going to R&B shows, especially alone, but I had to make the trip to see what it was all about. Yeah, great music is something that you have to go and see with or without a date, sometimes. “Something To Behold.” I don’t have any pictures so you’ll have to take my word for it.  I guess you’ll also have to take my word that The Foreign Exchange put on a good show.  The opening act was cute.

There were some things there, too, but all bunned. I drank Guinness and called it early.

Guess That Stylist

        

So Keyshia Cole came to Washington DC to some NABOB event where she received R&B singer of the year. March 19 and a child must have been thinking, “Oh, what to wear? What to wear?” You get the picture. But if you didn’t get the pictures here is how it went down in my mind. We didn’t linger at the NABOB event even though DJ Clark Kent was spinning for the people in tuxedos at the Woodley Park hotel. Instead, Lysa and I went to Dukem on U Street and then to Rudy & Natalie’s to check on the kids. Once again this proved to be the best plan. The McGann’s make it pop off.

And then Tom sent me a text and said that Lysa was looking good in VIBE with T.I. on the cover. (There is a short article on Lysa in that VIBE, too.)  I remember actually who-riding the set because T.I. isn’t even in jail yet and his picture alluded to a certain transformation made by one Malcolm "Detroit Red" Little into Malcolm X.  (A transformation that was made while he was currently incarcerated is such a miracle when one considers the American system of justice and how it relates to oppression -especially pronounced in his time.)  Incidentally, I can make the same argument for the transformation made by Malcolm X into one El Hajj Malik el Shabazz.  That is right black knowledge right there.  That’s free for the streets right there.  I stole these pictures from Bossip so I feel I have to give a little something back.  Quietly, Bossip is a secret addiction of mine.  Don’t tell nobody, though. 

I guess nobody told Keyshia that her dress was a little too short to be on a stage sitting on a stool.  For obvious reasons I’m actually a fan of that move, though.  I’m only mentioning this because there are folks out there that think that my sister’s job is to actually select the actual outfit for the artist.  Without giving away her trade secrets, I will merely state that Lysa is more apt to show the world anyway.  I’m going to need to keep my man union card and its already bad enough that my sister has me writing about fashion on my blog.  Is it really that deep?

And NABOB means National Association of Black Own Broadcasters so you need to study on that.

I’m Too Busy Working; Stags Lost at Alhambra; Dream Big

I’m in the midst of major project productions so I haven’t been following the Stags at Alhambra.  As a direct result of my inattention, I believe they lost to St. Francis of Baltimore and they will not be playing for the Championship as they previously had dreamed. I know that it kind of sucks but let’s be honest here for a second: as long as the Stags didn’t lose to Gonzaga I’m okay. We definitely got our shine on this year and nobody can take that away from the DeMatha Stags. Two out of three goals for the year aren’t bad. Naji Hibbert was right when he said that there aren’t that many DeMatha teams that are able to win the triple crown of Washington DC metropolitan area basketball.

This year’s team is certainly worthy of a favorable recording in history having won the WCAC regular season championship, WCAC tournament championship, and City Title. Sure it wasn’t exactly the triple crown that we would have liked, but we also won our game on ESPNU against Bishop O’Connell. That was a big time win, mark my words. DeMatha will be featured on national television again, next year, my friends. The future is looking bright for the Stags. Quinn Cook is coming back.  Victor Oladipo is coming back. Jerian Grant is coming back. Michael Hopkins is coming back. James Robinson is coming back. If this season was about coping with loss, and I suspect it was, then certainly next season is about to be the blossoming of the seedlings.

Mike Jones has sown his garden well and there are only better kids coming like the Kardashians. The league has to deal with at least two guys in every Stag class that want to go out like winners and the varsity is completely stacked up. Can anyone think of a basketball team more balanced than that in any league in the country? These guys could break records. If they mess around and have two more years of 30 wins and minimal losses a National Championship isn’t inconceivable. I don’t know if we have a solid post presence that can steady us for a run like that but if one were to materialize I think that it would be safe to say that the Stags should dream as big as Kim’s ass. We haven’t won one since I was in school: 1991, and if you’ve been following DeMatha then you know we’re just about due.

Anyway, keeping it totally real, the Stags did a hell of a job and this was only the beginning.  There will be more girls paraded on this site victoriously.  Monica Sofia, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian are here to show you that your three titles aren’t bad.  Sure the photos could have been better, like the football championship, but these still are not completely terrible.  Sure Alhambra would have been nice, but we still have the regular season, tournament and City Title to console ourselves with. We still red, white and blue. 

We’re still America’s Catholic High School Team.  Stags are going to continue to run this. 

GO STAGS!

Sugar Ray Cooper is a Celebrity

Here’s the part where I tell you that my life is ridiculous and everyone always pretends like their life can somehow compare. I mean people that aren’t my friends. The people that are my friends are just as weird and their lives are touched in some special way as well so it doesn’t really apply to them like that. But anyway in the latest issue of Cooper chronicles Sugar Ray, my sister’s black terrier, was recently caught out on a frozen lake chasing geese and my man Eric had to save him. In an ordinary person’s life, Eric wouldn’t be one of the founding father’s of reality television (Real World New York) and he wouldn’t be stripped down naked swimming in a frozen lake.

No, seriously, I’m totally not kidding. It’s totally true and there are pictures and Internet news stories to prove it. Sugar Ray Cooper is official in the game. I would also like to take this time to tell you that Eric is totally out of control. Once he tried to sell my friend on this pee therapy and he’s always doing a lot of healthy fasting and all that kind of stuff. Two summers ago (the 40th anniversary of the Summer of Love) he got into a contest with Dirty Jefe to see who could get the tannest. Eric is always into something super white boy, hippie, but usually with a super healthy slant to it as well. His girlfriend is always smoking hot and super healthy too. They travel the world together holding it down and surfing and looking beautiful while healing people for a living.

I’m not kidding. What the hell kind of life is that? It was crap like this that I was paid to warn kids against when I was teaching biology and chemistry at Xavier and now they are, quite brazenly, my idols. Eric strips down naked and swims in a frozen lake to save my sister’s dog and magically cameras appear and he doesn’t even die in a death defying heroic act. You can’t make this stuff up. An ordinary person tries to do this nobody sees him drown and everyone is talking about how stupid he was to risk his life for a dog at his funeral because he kept his clothes on and froze like a Eskimo pie. Does anyone else see the irony in all of this? Mr. Coconut Water gets to talk about getting in a “horse stance” and “rapid punching” another day when the average Joe would most certainly be dead.

Okay, I clearly got the photos from TMZ, and so is the link above, but you get the general idea.  I don’t really promote TMZ like that, but whatever.  There it is.  If I get enough of a positive response on this Eric stuff I promise to show you video of Eric on the surfboard simulator at the Venice Beach place.  That video is gold, I tell you.  Gold.

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