Frank Collaboration With Guess That Stylist

"If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten either write something worth reading or do things worth the writing."Benjamin Franklin

The single, greatest issue of Frank magazine ever published is about to be released and I need you to make every effort to go out and get it. (Have it delivered.)  Of course, I’m not just saying that because I’m in the aforementioned issue of Frank. (Claim bomb!) I would be saying that it is the greatest issue of Frank that I have ever seen, anyway.  Enter the 36th chapter of Frank and order your subscription today, friends. The best $12 that you’ll spend on anything that isn’t drug related and paper-based this year.

I guess here is the part that I tell you that everybody’s favorite stylist was the guest curator for a one of a kind naked girl extravaganza. I’m sure that you would have figured that out on your own because my sister’s real secret to styling is to keep everybody in as little clothing as possible. [Cut to Lysa saying, “take off all your clothes… Hold this plunger… Ok, we’re ready for the album cover.’] Lysa isn’t just preaching like a hypocrite, though. (I thought that I already told ya’ll about capitalizing on iconography?) In this issue of Frank my sister is naked on every other page. The interview was a nice touch though because it explains everything.

Frank is a multiracial cross between High Times, Playboy, The Source, and Jet –only smaller.  There are two Japanese girls, one Latina hottie, and even a clown showing a little titty in the 36th installment of Frank Magazine. So to be blessed like that you think that it would have taken lawyers to broker a deal of this magnitude? You’d be wrong. About eight years ago I was kicking it with Mike and “Steve” Malbon and I expressed an interest in writing for Frank because they own it. Mike was like “yeah, I want to do something with your sister” or some other disrespectful shit like that. Steve just stood there rolling a blunt.

Anyway I floated the idea of writing an article on her, but to be honest with you, I would do a poor job. I think that I must have known that going in because I don’t think that I actually submitting anything for publication. What did happen is we all got seriously blowed up in the club that night. Mike kept going on and on about how he could somehow have Lysa affiliated with the magazine. (I already thought that she was, honestly –and then I reconsidered in my reply.) I think this happened a little later than that One World with Russell Simmons came out and I might have made the remark, “she’ll do it if you let her take it over” in between puffs.

Anyway, someone must have heard me say that at the party over there on the West Side back in the day because it just went down.

That’s the kind of shit I bring to the table. (Put me on. Check the wmv and pdf samples. Six figures for a creative genius.) And there you have it: when you couple creativity with a whole lot of brainpower it can sometimes look a little too easy.  Just about anybody thinks that they have the stuff that the genuine synergy yields when they stand so close.  The kid from Glen Cove has been shining since before he had bars on his shoulders and earned a couple of college degrees.  Once more, he did it when nobody saw him coming but even if you went head to head with Long Island BIG DIC chances are you’ll be wiping your eyes.  Uneducated clowns swear that they’re the bee’s knees and fail to recognize that even strong chains won’t turn without gears or grease. I’m sorry but I can’t stand it when otherwise good planning goes completely to waste because of an avaricious pursuit of ulterior motives –unless they’re mine.

When I think of the trivialities of good faith tokens that could alleviate the flagrant fouls against hipster-dom, it makes me shudder to contemplate associations. Cats are out there really thinking like they could possibly fake this Renaissance that is clearly going down.  Does anyone out there really believe that hopping on and claim bombing your way to a brighter future is going to pay greater lifelong dividends over the classical study of art, literature, science and management?  Somebody should have told ya’ll that nobody could stop The Bruzz because, if you clicked on the links in the preceding paragraph you’ll realize that I not only study the classics, I put them into practice. I guess I wanted to share some of the underbelly of the freelance hipster grind with you because everything doesn’t always turn up sweet in that life either. If corporate America is impermanent then hipster America is like trying to build on air, or in this case, smoke. Some people would say that I constantly glorify it on my website, so let this stand as an example for the contrary argument that I am balanced. See, I cut back significantly.

The good part about all of this is, of course, that the whole Frank thing went off without a hitch though. It only took the better part of decade with those stoners over there in quarterly magazine land. (Someone really needs to tell them that they aren’t exactly destroying stereotypes of potheads across the globe by publishing a very small magazine –filled mainly with pictures, only four times a year.) I love those guys over there at Frank though. Mike and Steve Malbon, two white guys, have done a lot for the downtown black man of leisure.

Anytime you have U-God getting shout-outs in your advertisements for your appointment-only barbershop that happens to be open on Sundays, you’re making it happen. Anytime that your crew throws open-bar parties in the middle of the day in downtown lofts that nobody even really knows about unless you’re NYC official then you’re making it happen. Anytime that you make it happen while in the club making it happen then you’re definitely making it happen!  I won’t even get into the fact that they got the freshest fitted hats in the game right now. (It’s a good time to have paper. Speaking of paper, my mans Georgie at Frank’s Chop Shop told me that Frank just inked a deal with Bambú.) Mike and Steve made it pop off, and I really respect them for that.

  

Shout-outs to Irina Lazar, Francesco Clemente, Vanessa Salle, and Camellia Clouse!

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