Stalker Dudes

What is the deal with stalker dudes? Can someone please explain them to me? I don’t understand why they are following women around and taking illicit videos and generally sweating the hell out of them. Don’t they understand that they could use that money and effort and get a woman that really likes them and who might actually appreciate the attention? “Chasing bitches down,” as Ghostface Killah puts it, is on some borderline rape shitanyway.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for men pursuing with some sort of consistency and persistence but there has to be a point at which you are not only breaking the law but also being totally counterproductive with the chase. I, for one, have never been called a stalker by anyone that I have been with that I can remember. I’m not really the type of guy that sticks around when he isn’t wanted. Hell, I don’t think that I’ve even been the type to stalk a woman, even when they wanted me to sometimes.

I’ve got too much stuff going on in my world to get too involved in someone else’s world –especially someone that doesn’t want me in their world. Also, there is no tangible benefit to stalking women. The most that the dude that was stalking Erin Andrewsgot was some footage that was only fit for the internet. I never even saw that video because I boycotted it as a matter of general principal. How am I supposed to support some psycho that clearly needed validation for his perversion when the video in question wasn’t even all that pornographic? Am I supposed to be getting all hype to see Erin Andrews look at herself in the mirror, even if she was naked?

Men that took the time to witness the video have officially reached a new low, and they were all undoubtedly disappointed. The Peeping Tom, Michael David Barrett, that filmed the ESPN sports analyst through a key hole in her hotel room needs to go to the Larry Flint school of smut because his effort was even tamer than Hugh Hefner. If you spend all your time and money stalking and all you come away with are some pictures then I’m sorry, you failed. I’m thinking that if a man is going to put in that much work then he might as well try to holler or something so he can really make it happen.

Kevin Federlinecould have just stalked Britney Spears, but he didn’t. Federline took that extra step and legitimately put the mack on the songstress until she started squeezing out his kids.  (This is why Kevin Federline is a Pimp of the Year nominee.) Then, when Kevin’s future was secure, he put on a ton of weight and bailed on the set. I’m not saying that every man can be a starlet’s backup dancer turned financial beneficiary but you have to be in it to win it. Many of these stalker dudes aren’t even giving themselves a chance to hit the jackpot. How much do you want to bet that the dude stalking Erin Andrews never even tried to officially holler, or at least make himself known as a potential suitor.

Granted, chances are old boy would have been shot down anyway but I’m still guessing that he never threw his hat into the arena before he went down the path of sexual deviance. These are the sort of guys that collect hair and go on panty raids. Why on earth would a grown man want to see a woman in the shower if he isn’t at least going to be invited in? This guy not only just stood there taping it like a cuckold, he also put it out there for the world to see like it was going to be all good. A few words, homey: no. No, it is not all good. You’re never going to get laid looking through a key hole. This is not the movie Porky’s, and the world isn’t some porno movie waiting to jump off.

Sorry about all that.  I’m just trying to figure out what’s the deal with stalker dudes.

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